Monday, September 9, 2019

Chin Up

Someone wrote this to me on Tumblr, probably 8 years ago...

"Have you ever just stopped and looked at the weather? There's something about the weather that's just so real. You can't change it by wishing it away. If it's dark and cold, there's nothing you can do about it. But one day, it will be sunny. You can't control when the sun will come out, but it will. After years of believing I'd forever live in the dark, it's no longer raining. And one day, it will stop raining for you too. Chin up." 

I'd love to credit whoever that was, but their account was deactivated years ago. Tumblr is for old people now. (I'm old people.)

While I was being nostalgic and browsing through my old Tumblr account, I came across that message again. And I read it over and over again. It's crazy how after all these years God will bring me back to my old blog to show me something and speak to me. I'm shocked I even remembered the password.

Lately I've been incredibly frustrated with my situation. I have so many passions and dreams and ideas. And it seems like the all go to waste because I have no resources or time. Heck, I don't even know if anyone actually takes the time to reads these things.

So I get so frustrated, literally oozing with creativity and desire to have some sort of outlet, when I feel like it's all going to waste. Why, I ask God, did you even make me this way, if I'm going to spend most of my time at a desk answering phones? And then I spend hours scrolling through instagram staring at people who I believe are living my dream life. I don't even have to tell you that everyone has their own struggles and most of them aren't posting their struggles, because by now you know that. But sometimes I still find myself falling into that trap.

"You can't control when the sun will come out, but it will."

I don't  know what that means for me. I don't know if the sun coming out is having a career in something I'm absolutely in love with and passionate about. I don't know if it's peace with the life God has given me and better time management resources to still be able to do the things I love. I've learned that perspective has the power to lift a huge weight off of you. Lately I've been putting into perspective everything I've been blessed with. I might not love my job, but I have a job. It pays my bills. I can save money. It might not be the highest paying, but it leaves me with some money to do things I want to do. I don't love living in an apartment..heck, I miss my old house. If you don't already know, it was foreclosed. But..I have a room, a bed, and my parent's don't put all the pressure on me to pay rent. I have parents who are able to help me. As hard as things can seem sometimes, when you take the time to realise that you actually have a lot to be thankful for, you can shift your entire mental state.

I don't know when your sun will come out. But I do know what Jesus said.

"...I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." 
John 10:10

Things don't always go our way. I can promise you if I had every thing I have ever prayed for, I'd be cringing, and also begging for God to take it away. As humans, what we think we want is not actually what is good for us. But I know one thing. That we have a someone watching over us, who knows the very best for us, and while being told no may sting in the moment, he has one goal for us: abundant life. He is making and molding you to one day be the perfect creation he intended you to be with every hardship you endure.
And so, no matter how dark thing may seem right now, God knows your life from start to finish, and he is doing everything he needs to so that you can living abundantly. Your current situation is not a mistake or you missing your calling, it's a stepping stone to where God is taking you. Find the lesson.


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