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Sunday, January 26, 2020

Don't Tell Me That He's Finished Yet

Time flies by so quickly. Especially as an adult, we're all so busy and waiting on the weekend. It's so easy to forget that we aren't living for this 9-5, busy life. We aren't living for our goals and our desires. Not for that promotion, finishing school, buying that house. But when you're working every day towards a goal, it's SO easy to forget: this is not my purpose.

Sure, these things are wonderful. God actually desires that we would have a good life. He wants us to work hard and always honor him in everything we do. But in working towards these goals, we often allow them to define us. And when things don't go as planned..it can feel like the whole world crashed down on you. Despite everything the bible says, it can feel like God got tired of you and walked straight out of your life. Like it's you against the world.

I recently came to a realization that I will be stuck in a very difficult living situation for a significant amount of time. Despite my best efforts, (or bEcAuse I livE in nEw yOrk #screwyoucostofliving)
it just isn't feasible for me to be out on my own. I was in way over my head. Everything felt forced, in my own strength, impossible. I've never felt more deflated.

So I wallowed, got angry with God, and basically decided I was on my own. If you've ever felt that way, you know how quickly your emotions can spiral out of control.

I actually started to be angry with the people around me, for no apparent reason. I would find myself annoyed at the thought of certain people. Picking them apart in my head when they weren't around, and they had no idea I was even upset. Over STUPID things. I was basically a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode on someone. I created a scenario in my head where it was literally me against the world.

I can't tell you that I had this divine realization and all of my hurt and anger was lifted like a weight off my shoulders. I can tell you that I have made the daily decision to to the following.

1. Change my attitude towards other.
When I find myself angry with someone, I think of 5 times they made me smile. Or qualities I love in them. Just positive things. This doesn't mean ignore toxic behaviour, if that friendship truly isn't right for you, but if you find yourself picking someone apart for no apparent reason, that's when you need to do the opposite.

2. Thank God for the way he WILL make.
Thing's didn't work out as planned. God said no. Or not now. Whatever the situation is, know that if you are living out the life God intended for you, there is no way that you will be stuck in the same place forever. Slow progress is progress, and when the time has come, he will take you where HE desires to take you. Despite it not being your original plan, it will be GOOD.
"So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work, so you will become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. " James 1:4-23 MSG

3. Trusttrusttrusttrusttrust
No matter how hard it gets. Trust him with your life. STOP worrying about where you'll be 10 years from now. Start focusing on being the best version of yourself today. Be a good steward of what you've been given, even if you didn't want it. Plan, yes, but know where to draw the line between being responsible and obsessing. You can have your 50 year plan all you want. You can spend every second making sure that your life is carefully thought out. And if tomorrow doesn't come for you, you  wasted every second planning instead of living.



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